Author Archives: Dan Thurot
Empires of the Void: 3X Goodness
Yellow squadron uses a giant die as a distraction for their invasion of Tan Fu.
Very few things miff the staff here at Space-Biff! more than when folks treat genre labels as interchangeable—it leads to the same sort of discombobulation as staring at a Che Guevara sticker while seated in an Olive Garden restroom. Worse, it transforms the angelic stillness of the SB! living room office into a cacophony of complaining voices. “Spec Ops is not an RPG!” Dan was shouting the other day. “Small World is not Ameritrash!” Thurot blurted a few weeks ago. Even Lee can’t stop talking about how The Walking Dead is an entirely new (and “the boldest”) genre. And over the last couple days, Wee Aquinas won’t shut up about how “Empires of the Void isn’t a 4X game!”
This is fine, because Wee Aquinas usually comes out on the wrong side of genre arguments and this has been a big get for him. Also, because Red Raven Games never claimed Empires of the Void as a 4X game—just that it’s a good one. And on that count, they’re absolutely right.
The Walking Dad: A New Day
A diorama of Atlanta.
Hi there, loyal Space-Biff! readers! Today we have something special planned—a guest review/impressions piece from a dude named Lee Everett. Lee is going to tell us all about the first episode of The Walking Dead, despite the obvious conflict of interest that arises from him being its protagonist. Oh well. There’s no such thing as an objective review, anyway! Find all about his adventures right after the jump!
The Soul of Metro 2033 (Act Two)
Ghost Train.
Okay, so Metro 2033’s first act left us good and depressed. The world is broken, and it’s painfully unlikely that humanity’s dreams of rebuilding it will ever be realized. At best, humanity can hope for the relative dignity of extinction. Yay.
And then the second act comes along and plays with what we already know about the bleak Moscow underground. Tonally, it’s a complete one-eighty from Artyom’s early adventures. Not in terms of bleakness—things are still outlandishly grim. It doesn’t inject cheer or hope or anything like that. Instead, it gives its world a shot of religion, and mulls a bit on the state of mankind’s soul.
Being Tzeentch: Chaos in the Old World
Chaos in the Old World. Box art.
Hypothetical time! What would happen if you sat your deity of choice (if you’re an atheist, plug a lightning-empowered Christopher Hitchens in there) at a table with a handful of opposing deities, placed the world in the middle, and fired a starter pistol into the air?
And that’s basically what Chaos in the Old World proposes, except its deities are probably meaner than yours—they worked hard to earn that “Ruinous Powers” nickname, after all. It’s a superb game that lets you be the worst of bad guys, and it oozes theme like a pus from a wound.
The World of Metro 2033 (Act One)
Life in the post-apocalyptic Moscow Metro is desperate and short.
I originally began writing Space-Biff! to talk about four games. On September 20, Space-Biff! will be turning one year old, and I’m ashamed to say that even as we approach our baby’s birthday, I’ve only written about one of those four titles—and I haven’t even managed to finish writing the game diary for that one.
Well, this procrastination will stand no longer! The goal is to eventually write five articles, one for each of the game’s five broad segments, talking about the story in some detail and explaining how Metro 2033 appeared out of nowhere and weaved a masterful tale of hope and despair at the tail end of humanity’s run. This will be wildly self-indulgent, but since this entire site is basically me sitting in a darkened room making car noises with my mouth and playing make-believe that the entire internet relies solely on me for PC gaming information, it’ll fit right in.
Ret-Talus: Dead King, Summoner, Bum Rusher
Ret-Talus, master of the Fallen Kingdom.
Many moons back I hollowed out a ventricle of my stony heart to contain my love for Summoner Wars, the masterpiece from Plaid Hat Games that I claim as my favorite board/card game ever. Sadly, I haven’t found the time (or brass) to write about it until now (excepting its inclusion in my Board Game Box Review, which does not actually count but masks my chagrin at least a little).
Now Summoner Wars is out on iOS, which means I’ve been playing far more games at once than I can keep track of. Which makes this the perfect time to jump on in and tell you all about why Summoner Wars is so incredible.
Celebrating the 4th with Future Soldier
A pack of patriotic pros.
Here in the States it’s Independence Day, in which we celebrate Benjamin Franklin burning down the White House with electricity, a distraction that allowed George Washington to conquer Yorktown while Betsy Ross falcon-punched Benedict Arnold, making the thirteen colonies free from taxes and stuffiness. The details are a bit fuzzy because nobody really kept notes back then, so we may never know the full story.
Four hundred years later, Americans are still up to some awesome stuff in Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Future Soldier, which, like the story of our glorious nation’s founding, is all about four guys beating the stuffing out of foreigners while wearing snappy uniforms.
Revved for FTL
If this image hasn’t already made you uncontrollably excited, you may have missed out on childhood.
The Federation has had a bad year. Taxes are down, overheads are up, and to top it off the Rebellion has begun a massive assault with an aim to topple the (generally benevolent) government. Enter The Kestrel, which stores data that is crucial to the survival of the Federation, and the Rebels know it.
So begins FTL, the upcoming indie game from Justin Ma and Matthew Davis. I’ve been playing a fair amount since it entered closed beta, and I suspect it’s going to be one of the best indies of the year.
Spec Ops: The Lie
Three Delta Force operators hike into Dubai.
I wonder if, at any point during the promo period for Spec Ops: The Line, anyone at Yager Development mentioned the irony of marketing a game for its difficult moral quandaries when in fact it contains no moral quandaries. Oh, there’s some moral mugging. And some moral posturing. Maybe some half-baked moral messages. Alas, the quandary department is skint.
After the jump, I’ll explain why SO:TL, despite being an enjoyable experience, was ultimately a letdown.
Tiny and Big: Channeling… Portal?
Tiny begins his quest to reacquire his grandfather’s legacy: underpants.
This feels a bit insane, but I’m going to go out on a limb here. I could tell you that I finished Tiny and Big: Grandpa’s Leftovers last night, but that would only be half of the matter. I also started it. I played it in a single sitting. It took a little over three hours. I didn’t set any records, though I found most of the recorded collectibles and only got stumped twice in the process. And I loved—loved, and I emphasize that because I didn’t expect it—about 170 of my 192 minutes with it (numbers approximate).
The last game to have that effect on me was the same one that I kept thinking about while playing Tiny and Big. I’m referring, of course, to Valve’s masterpiece, Portal.
SPACE-BIFF! 