In Summoner Wars: Alliances, this battle has been brewing for a while now — two battles, actually, now that I think about it. Sure, it’s the fight between the Deep Benders, which I suspect is a sort of yoga squat, and the Sand Cloaks, which sounds bonkers itchy. Just shake them out, y’know? And stop tracking all that sand all over the carpet.
More importantly, it’s the fight between Somerset and Dan. A fight that will leave only one of us left standing. Or at least a fight that will break our stalemate.
It was inevitable that I would do a review of Plaid Hat’s latest and greatest, Summoner Wars: Alliances. Not here, however. Oh no. Over at the Review Corner, see.
What’s the Review Corner? Well, it’s like that graffiti-encrusted spot sandwiched between the high school gym and the auto shop. We ditch class, smoke cigs, and trade reviews of board games, eyes peeled all the while for the school cop to come rumbling over in her golf cart. The folks over there were nice enough to ask if I’d do a review now and then, and I answered with a resounding “Okay.” The rest, as some people say (not me), is history.
You can find the review over here.
Deals have been struck. Some benevolent, some… well. It was always inevitable that once the Summoner Wars began in earnest, the sixteen factions who found themselves in possession of summoning stones would seek alliances, no matter how desperate or ill-motivated. And when it’s between the Tundra Guild and the Cave Filth, that’s one fight you sit back and let run its course.
Poop just got nonfictional. I’ve always preferred an assassination strategy in Summoner Wars, and now two of my three favorite factions — both of whom are among the slipperiest, most low-down assassins of all — have just received their second summoners, and entire sacks of tricks, traps, and mean horribleness to go along with them. This time, the nomadic Cloaks and the probably-also-nomadic Jungle Elves are having a go, and their appearance on my doorstep means another duel with Somerset.
Summoner Wars is so full of bitter rivalries that it could be about pro wrestling, but all of them pale in comparison to the conflict between the sickeningly rotten Fallen Kingdom and the sickeningly noble Vanguards. Now, with the appearance of an additional summoner on each side, these two factions are once again squaring off on the battlefield — which means Somerset and I are squaring off again too.
The original plan was to write a lengthy battle report showing off the capabilities of Queen Maldaria and Torgan, the second summoners for the Phoenix Elves and Tundra Orcs. You know, like we did last week for the new Guild Dwarves and Cave Goblins. Then the actual match didn’t go quite as me and Somerset hoped — as dynamic and interested as the battle had been, it didn’t feel like it would make for particularly good reading. Our rematch was similar, though inverted. That will make sense later.
Somerset then had two realizations: first, the crazy outcome of these two fights was actually a perfect example of what we both like most about Summoner Wars; and second, although I’d written about Summoner Wars over a dozen times, I’d never actually gotten around to writing a review. So that’s what this is: my unconventional review of why I love Summoner Wars, from the perspective of two matches that just didn’t want to be written as battle reports.
In about a month the first four of the second summoners will be released, which means the second phase of the Summoner Wars is beginning! To celebrate, Somerset and I have set the new Guild Dwarf and Cave Goblin decks against each other. While archenemies Oldin and Sneeks are busy wearing down their forces in frontal assaults, both have thought up a secret flanking maneuver — completely oblivious to the crucial detail that these ill-fated plans traverse the exact same route. And so Frick’s army of war cripples, runts, and braindead goblins has come to crash against Bolvi’s fortified towers and those sworn to defend them to the death. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. Also fun.
A little over a month ago, my wife Somerset and I completed a tournament series of matches, deckbuild discussions, post-game commentaries, and extensive (maybe too extensive) after-action reports on our favorite board game, Summoner Wars. And just tonight, I realized that I completely forgot to index this massive undertaking. You know, for posterity and/or OCD fulfillment.
Well, I aim to set it right… aaaaand… done. Complete list of Summoner Wars Mega matches below.
We all knew this day would come — oh, you’re not sure what day I’m talking about? Well, clearly the day when Dan wouldn’t be satisfied with merely being the man behind the internet’s one and only boardgames and PC games blog. Now he’s decided to branch out into New Board Games Journalism, which he just coined earlier today. Coined and minted.
Thank goodness there was a local opportunity to flex his new investigative journalism skills. SaltCon is in town for the weekend, and Dan managed to procure exclusive coverage of the entire event. Seriously, the whole thing. And it was pretty darn awesome, with lots of cool designers showing off their newest games. Footage below.