Let’s Do This, Politics: Strategery 2012
Aw, you might almost believe they’re buds.
As I write this, there’s a political cottage meeting taking place next door. It’s about some local stuff that’s been balkanizing our typically-serene and friendly suburban neighborhood into factional compartments locked in an arms race to get up the most “Vote Yes” or “Vote No” posters. It’s a real shame, especially since both sides are motivated out of a desire to preserve our little corner of the valley that we live in, and I suspect that the divisions created these last few months will last years beyond the actual upcoming vote. I was invited, though somewhat grudgingly, and failed to attend due to a bout of ambivalence.
And then, something happy happened. Frustrated — by this local kerfuffle, by the noise around yesterday’s presidential debate, by et cetera —, I decided to get even more frustrated by playing a game that looked like it was going to be more fuel on the already-unwelcome fire.
You know what? I’ll be damned if it didn’t help. I’m feeling right as rain. Thanks, Strategery 2012: Right Makes Might. You rock.
It’s Good to Be a Mage Knight, Day Two
Tovak returns to the little monastery.
Alright, now where were we? Ah, right, so last time Goldyx and Tovak, Mage Knights both, spent a day and a night conquering a path across the countryside, bringing down warbands of orcs and fortified strongholds with equal ease. I’ve told you that they’re the ones that brought our Red City’s corrupt penny-squeezers to heel, and in only three days too. Well, I reckon I’ll tell you about their second day. It’s the one that some folks like to jaw about when they say the Mage Knights aren’t so heroic as we’ve been told, but don’t let anyone hear you talk like that. And anyway, it’s true that they did some pillaging and burning, but there’s a reason for all that.
The Space-Biff! Birthday Contest Results!
Staggering talent.
In our Space-Biff! birthday contest, we saw some pretty good suggestions about what people would give Space-Biff! for its first birthday, and congrats to our five winners! They’ll be receiving a shiny new key for Metro 2033 in their inboxes soon.
This means it’s time for the second phase of our contest. This will determine who gets a copy of the board game Infiltration from Fantasy Flight Games! Read on to see our five winning items, and vote for whichever strikes you as the most creative answer!
Once You Go Black (Mesa)
So faithful, they even worked in the lambda.
This is going to be biased.
I went into Black Mesa with a heaping dose of skepticism, because mocking up a few nostalgic screenshots seems like one of those things that anyone can do, though when I say “anyone” I’m referring to lots of people other than me. How could a mod team recreate one of gaming’s most seminal moments? How could a pack of amateurs capture the terror of the Blast Pit, the pacing nightmare of Apprehension, or, crud, even the slow-burn tram-ride intro?
Well, they did it. Mostly. It’s thirteen of Half-Life’s seventeen chapters (the rest are coming later, presumably), recast into a completely free mod that anyone can play — again, for free — so long as you’re willing to peruse some download links and install Steam. For free.
Celebrate Space-Biff! with a Contest!
Happy first birthday, Space-Biff! Who’s brought a present?
Well, here we are, one year on. Our baby sure has grown up—almost a hundred articles, about fifteen comments, and as of last week, six followers! Thanks so much to those of you without whom it couldn’t have happened. You know who you are. Also, some of you did absolutely nothing to help, and you know who you are as well. Meanies.
All is forgiven, because we’re here to celebrate Space-Biff! surviving for one year! The next challenge is to make it to two. So to inaugurate the new year, let’s have a little contest! Strap in, because this is going to be convoluted.
Pardon the Intrusion 2
Riding a wolf into battle against evil!
Look, I’m going to drop any pretension of objectivity here. I love Intrusion 2, a brilliantly fun little romp from Aleksey Abramenko, author of Intrusion 1 (I assume). And I’m going to tell you why, in a sonnet:
I Am Alive. Am I Satisfied?
The unnamed survivor, about to be surprised by the game title.
You might recognize I Am Alive as that game that came out on consoles and was withheld on PC and when PC gamers complained the developer accused them of “bitching” and then suddenly it was announced that it would be released on PC and then even more suddenly it was out a week before its release date. Or you might not. Either way, what a wild, wild ride. But does the game itself live up to its insane and wonderful origin story? Find out below.
It’s Good to Be a Mage Knight, Day One
Goldyx and Tovak: friends, rivals, Mage Knights.
Ever heard of a Mage Knight? No? For shame. It was a pair of Mage Knights that fought against the dragons and orcs and corrupt burro-crats that were running this country into the mud. Only took them three days to do it, too.
Ah yes, looks like you’re remembering now. Only three days and three nights, and they went from Mage Knight rookies to veterans with the powers of the gods themselves—I’m talking about the power to melt walls sixty feet high, to bring an elder dragon crashing out of the sky without dripping a single bead of sweat, to command loyalty that kings could only fantasize about. Settle in and I’ll refresh that fogged-up memory of yours. It’s the least I can do—after all, that pair did me a good turn by bringing the Red City to its knees.
Metro 2033: The Synopsis: The Index
Life in the Moscow Metro.
I’ve finally finished writing up my synopsis of the story and themes of Metro 2033, a brilliant game and one of my all-time favorites. Below is the index. It’s a small index, since I only wrote five parts, but still, it’s below.
The Brains of Metro 2033 (Act Five)
Ostankino Tower, surrounded by flying mutants.
Act Five marks the end of Artyom’s (and your) journey, and lets you know it by starting right where the game’s introduction left off: Artyom and the Rangers are under siege, both by hordes on the ground and hordes above. Overhead looms the final objective, the imposing Ostankino Tower, where the Rangers hope to call down fire on the Dark Ones. As the Rangers’ lines are breached from every direction, and even as their armored car is thrown onto its side like a toy, Artyom is knocked down by a diving monster.
Artyom’s come a long way, and seen things he couldn’t have imagined back when he left Exhibition Station. He’s done both great and terrible things too. Now, here in the windswept dark, his journey is coming to an end, one way or another.
SPACE-BIFF! 