Author Archives: Dan Thurot
Cold Beer, Hot Lights: 2045
The only hit I ever landed in baseball was against a robot. Yes, it was a pitching machine; yes, it gave me the confidence I needed to stride right up to the plate during our next game and swing away; yes, I got beaned in the helmet and walked to first. So it would be safe to say that baseball isn’t my thing. When I overheard someone talking about Arnold Rothstein’s 1919 World Series fix, I figured that was the coolest thing that had ever happened to baseball. If gangsters were more regularly rigging the game, I might consider following it.
Lucha! Lucha! Lucha!
Up until a year ago, my knowledge of Lucha Libre consisted of, “That’s a Pokemon, right?” Then I watched Nacho Libre starring Jack Black, which Wikipedia informs me was based on an absolutely true story. Now I’m even less sure what you crazy kids are up to.
Luchador!, on the other hand, is much more informative. Its front of the box tells me everything I need to know: it’s about Mexican wrestling! Oh. And it’s a dice game! Got it.
Specter Oops
Just thinking off the top of my head, I can count on my left hand the number of board games about stealth. And that’s after the freak wood chipper accident of 2011.
Point is, while there are loads of games out there that feature hidden or obfuscated information, there are precious few about remaining unseen entirely. Fewer still about being a lady with robotic spider appendages hiding from an enormous dog-man and some dude who can tell the future. Welcome to Specter Ops.
Alliances Mega #3: Sandy Graves
In Summoner Wars: Alliances, this battle has been brewing for a while now — two battles, actually, now that I think about it. Sure, it’s the fight between the Deep Benders, which I suspect is a sort of yoga squat, and the Sand Cloaks, which sounds bonkers itchy. Just shake them out, y’know? And stop tracking all that sand all over the carpet.
More importantly, it’s the fight between Somerset and Dan. A fight that will leave only one of us left standing. Or at least a fight that will break our stalemate.
Old Blades, New Ideas
Millennium Blades is a game about a group of friends playing a game called Millennium Blades. And while you might think I’m being sort of a jackass since any game can be described that way (“Uno is a game about a group of friends being too bored to play anything but a game called Uno”), you’d actually be wrong. Because Millennium Blades really is a game about playing a game. And that game is called Millennium Blades.
Hold on, let me explain.
Elsewhere: Summoner Wars Alliances
It was inevitable that I would do a review of Plaid Hat’s latest and greatest, Summoner Wars: Alliances. Not here, however. Oh no. Over at the Review Corner, see.
What’s the Review Corner? Well, it’s like that graffiti-encrusted spot sandwiched between the high school gym and the auto shop. We ditch class, smoke cigs, and trade reviews of board games, eyes peeled all the while for the school cop to come rumbling over in her golf cart. The folks over there were nice enough to ask if I’d do a review now and then, and I answered with a resounding “Okay.” The rest, as some people say (not me), is history.
You can find the review over here.
Lode
Are mining games the train games of 2015? No? Well, something to think about, anyway.
In the meantime, there’s Super Motherload [sic], a board game based on the video game Super Motherload [sic], which itself traces its lineage all the way back to Dig Dug. Minerals, prepare to get drilled right in the minerals.
The Problem with Oneiromancy
This is the sort of thing nobody ever believes, but I’ve got to tell someone: my weekly gaming group is haunted. The spirit’s name is Ghost Geoff, and through the creaking front door he arrives, always well in advance of Real Geoff.
As of yet we have no idea why this apparition visits our home. Was he murdered in our living room, a secret shamefully concealed by the previous owners? Was the foundation laid above an ancient burial ground? Is he just sort of pissed that Real Geoff is always like an hour and a half late?
At night, he fills my sleeping head with unclear visions, images of places far-off and impossible. I’ve attempted oneiromancy, the divination of dreams, but the visions he sends… well, they’re idiotic, is what they are. If Ghost Geoff wants me to figure out what he needs, he’s going to have to be a lot clearer.
My Number One Card Game: Uno
I know I sometimes come across as a bit of a tough guy, always talking trash about certain board and card games, but really I’m very warm and approachable. In fact, I’ve had enough of the lies. It’s time to come clean.
I love Uno. Love it like a spoonful of butter dusted with brown sugar. Below the jump, I’ll give three reasons why I think it’s one of the best card games ever designed.
The Existential Horror of Dixit
There’s something both magical and terrifying about Dixit. And I mean that in a far more literal sense than usual.
Communication is tough, as anyone who’s been in a regular human relationship can attest. Our attempts often fall short. Too much, too little, too vague — even too precise. With effort, you can get better at it. Refine it. Figure out when to use it and what type and how much, maybe even realize that sometimes you shouldn’t use it at all. But even then, you can’t ever quite get there. To the point that everyone will know exactly what you’re talking about, I mean. Sure, they’ll hear the words that are coming out of your mouth, assembled from a limited set of vowels and consonants, but how often will they understand, really understand, what you’re trying to say? Sometimes, maybe. But not as often as we’d like to think.
Well. That’s what Dixit is about.
SPACE-BIFF! 