Summoner Wars: Divine Intervention
The beginning setup: Vanguards versus Tundra Orcs.
Back in October I decided to roll the dice in the official Summoner Wars iOS Tournament and prove myself the premier Summoner Wars player of all time. Turns out I’m not. Even so, I did a lot better than I assumed I would, coming this close to making it into the third round (of four, in case you were wondering). I took screenshots of most of my games, and meant to do a massive post-tournament writeup, but certain constraints (like not winning) kept me from it.
Well, I figure I can talk about a couple of the games though, considering I have all these hundreds of screenshots. The first match is a win from the first round — it’s actually the win that placed me at 3-2 in my division, and going on to the second. It’s an epic win, full of tense moments and nick-of-time maneuvers. At no less than two points I nearly hurled my iPad across the room, and was only constrained by the damnable fragility of the thing. But. Despite the thrills this match offers, this isn’t an example of how to play Summoner Wars well. Not in the slightest.
5 4 3012
Yes, this article’s title is a rebus for “Five for 3012,” and yes, I thought it was clever when I thought it up. Before you leave, I’ll confess that I’m no good at the art of article naming — for instance, I realized only the other day that my Spec Ops article from way back in June should have been entitled “Spec Oops.” Dang it, that would have brought me the journalistic fame (and integrity-challenging freebies) that I so clearly deserve. Ah well, live and learn. At any rate, bygones shouldn’t distract us from talking about 3012, the new deck-building game from Cryptozoic Entertainment. After the jump, I’ve got five reasons why 3012 is excellent, and a few about why I didn’t expect it to be.
Little Inferno: Burn Bright, or Burn Out?
I imagine that when our primitive ancestors (I’m on some sort of caveman kick this week, aren’t I?) first discovered fire, the scientific method was invented right alongside it. Having made fire (or captured it from some other source, maybe by carrying a burning stick from a forest fire or a lightning strike or something), and hopefully having figured to ring it with stones or keep it away from dry brush, the first thing I assume they did was try to figure out what to chuck in it. Certain things worked — dry sticks, grass, furs (“Thanks a lot” grunted the one whose furs they’d tossed in, and thus sarcasm was invented too); others resulted in less pleasing effects — water, boulders, mastodon dung.
Little Inferno from Tomorrow Corporation, which consists of the same indie darlings behind the much-lauded World of Goo, deals largely with that lizard portion of our brains that compels us to acquire stuff for the sake of burning it up. Literally. Like with fire, not metaphorically. But does the game itself burn bright, or burn out?
Let’s Smash “Smash Up” Up
If a box image could sell a game, Smash Up would break sales records.
Ever since prehistoric man daydreamed of riding mastodons to victory over the mighty brontosaurus, there’s been something wonderful and endearing about our crossover fantasies. Fast forward a billion years, and we’ve got Star Trek versus Star Wars, DC versus Marvel versus Capcom, Disney versus Final Fantasy. Children bicker endlessly in “Who would win between…” conversations. Fans gossip about cameos and write reams of bad fiction about romantic meetups between their favorite characters. Even my childhood playtime was dominated by the US Army and G.I. Joes defending the Alamo against the faceless hordes of the LEGO axis. It’s as natural as falling in love with television characters, really.
And that’s what the board game Smash Up is all about — merging two disparate factions into a bizarre alliance and pitting them in a race to overwhelm neutral bases before your opponents do. That means leading an army of leprechaun ninjas in their conquest of the isle of Tortuga, or getting back at the self-righteous dopes at the School of Wizardry with laser-saddled stegosauruses and shambling zombies. Like many crossovers, it’s a fun concept — but does it work? Find out after the jump.
Fallen Enchantress #4: The Pit of Lost Voices
In the center-most mountain range of the Desolate East lies hidden the Pit of Lost Voices.
Magnar has now lived in the Desolate East for over 140 years, and after eking out an empire under the harshest conditions, and both starting and finishing a war with the Kingdom of Gilden, the only obstacle that remains on the path to total dominion is the Empire of Resoln. Resoln’s sovereign, Oracle Ceresa, is not only aware of this fact, but she commands five times as many soldiers are Magnar, and she’s itching to land the first blow. In the summer of 295 A.C. (I have no idea what that means, and I suspect Magnar doesn’t either), she does exactly that.
Fallen Enchantress #3: Warg Mages
Powerful Warg Mages. All you need are Wargs. And Mages.
Much to my surprise, I’ve been having a grand time with Fallen Enchantress. Magnar’s Empire has grown from a tiny walnut into a massive tree of enslaving doom, and most recently booted the stuck-up Gilden out of his birthright territory. Unfortunately, now my Empire is facing new troubles — and while a few are intricate Gordian Knots just waiting for my sword to descend with a satisfying thwack, others have arisen courtesy of Fallen Enchantress’s less-endearing eccentricities.
Objects in Space: Cargo Commander
I think there’s something terribly romantic about the notion of being a space scavenger. I’m not sure where the feeling comes from — the fringe living of Firefly (who doesn’t want to be Mal Reynolds?), the dark intro cutscene to the original StarCraft, my inborn love of sorting through tremendous piles of rubbish… regardless, Cargo Commander from Serious Brew has been scratching the itch.
Fallen Enchantress #2: Farhammer
The Gilden city of Farhammer.
After only a couple hours with Fallen Enchantress, it was plain that Stardock had learned some strong lessons from the disappointment of Elemental: War of Magic. Magnar and his growing retinue of allies were on a happy romp across the Desolate East — now an actual magic-ravaged desert rather than the lukewarm fantasy of the first game, which was filled with characters who were constantly insisting that no, really, this is a wasteland. Magnar had founded eight proud cities, assembled a few decent armies (mostly composed of freebie slave militia), and done some stuff that could only rightly be called heroic, even though he has a strong dislike for that term. After all, what else do you call a team of adventurers who drives back a demon invasion? Neglecting the fact that in the end they’d persuaded the demon to join up, of course.
Now, with the appearance of the arrogant Kingdom of Gilden and their vast treasuries and demands for tribute, times are a’changing for Magnar’s Empire.
Fallen Enchantress #1: The Fearful Merchant
Magnar, Lord of the Quendar. Once he founds them, anyway.
It’s the 24th of August, 2010, the day I’ve been eagerly awaiting for over three months, and there’s something heavy on my mind: which I should play first, Mafia II by 2K Games or Elemental: War of Magic by Stardock? They arrived together, shared the same potential-smelling cardboard box (cardboard always smells like potential to me though), and sat shrink-wrapped for nearly an hour while I wrestled the question back and forth. Yeah, I’m one of those, the sort who would rather do nothing than commit to just one, especially when the topic is games.
I played Elemental first, which turned out to be the right choice, as Mafia II seemed quite good after suffering through the trauma of four hours with Elemental. Now, two years plus change later, we have Fallen Enchantress, a sequel built over a foundation of lessons learned, better designers hired, and apologies delivered. And to my surprise, that’s a pretty decent foundation.
Hotline Miami: Your Finger, Your Smiling Mouth
Be warned, this will get sticky. Violence generally does. You might be thinking you have some experience with this sort of thing, but I can assure you that no, you do not. And if we’re going to do this, you need to do exactly what I tell you, exactly when I tell you. No excuses or deviation. Just try not to think too much.
You’ve been warned. You may click “Read More” at this time, but remember, it’s your choice, your finger. Don’t blame me.
SPACE-BIFF! 