Category Archives: Game Diary
Summoner Wars Mega #6: Guild Dwarves vs. The Filth
Guild Dwarves vs. The Filth.
Today’s battle is an exercise in what happens when the greedy Guild Dwarves hear about a rich vein of gold running across the prairie where a supposedly harmless tribe of rabble lives… only to discover that these plains-dwellers are actually the Filth, who mutate from helpless peasants to tentacle monsters with some regularity, and who really don’t appreciate diminutive prospectors poking around in their territory. Which is to say, it’s on.
The question on everybody’s mind, of course, is whether Dan was able to maintain his lead or lose it to a vengeful Somerset. The one thing we’ll give away about this match is that somebody’s summoner turned out nigh-impossible to finish off. Find out if we’re talking about Oldin or the Demagogue below.
The Organ Trail, Part Three: Not Dysentery
I need to ask you something. Back when I was telling you about Clements and I mentioned that this is the story of how I died, did you really believe me? Or did you assume I meant something metaphorical, like how I died on the inside? Because I can see how you might think that, considering what I told you about that mine shaft incident, because, sure, that slayed a ventricle or two. Or you might think that I’m in the process of dying right now as a result of everything that went down over the last few months, bleeding out while I stammer my story on the side of the road, imparting dying wisdom to a younger version of myself.
But I’m not. I’m dead. El finito, as the Italians say. This is the story of how that happened. It was horrible and painful and more than a little embarrassing. And baby, it wasn’t dysentery that did me in. So settle in and get ready to hear the long and short of it.
Summoner Wars Mega #5: Tundra Orcs vs. Shadow Elves
Tundra Orcs vs. Shadow Elves.
Elves and Orcs whacking at each other with blunt and sharp instruments is probably the most natural thing in the world. Except these Elves like to dart about in the night and these Orcs really like ice magic and gambling — two lifestyles that, as we all know, are absolutely incompatible. Which is probably why Selundar has decided his Shadow Elves must invade the frosty tundra of Grognack’s, er, Tundra Orcs.
As always, we had a fantastic match. What set this one apart from the rest was a laugh out loud moment that briefly interrupted the game and completely shifted the balance of power. I know you’re intrigued, so read on to discover whether the current 2-2 tie was broken in Somerset’s or Dan’s favor.
The Organ Trail, Part Two: The Road
Once we’d sorted out the seating assignments for the station wagon (if you don’t remember how that happened, your memory is almost as short as Clements is now), it was time to hit the road, just like I was Jack Kerouac, and Somerset, Pariah, Wedge, and Agent Five were— well, like they were whoever traveled with Jack Kerouac. Of course, since the radio was dead we had less Jazz, and none of us were much inclined towards reciting what scant poetry we could remember or make up, and Agent Five had already consumed all the psychotropics on account of the zombies. All right, I suppose it wasn’t much like On the Road after all.
Even so, we were united by a quest: Clements might have been an old basket case, but his dream of a safe haven on the West Coast was as good a fantasy as any. And if you’re thinking we should have sat pretty and waited for someone to save us, well, you’re probably right. Since I’m dead and all.
The Organ Trail, Part One: Clements
Alright, let’s get the clichés out of the way right now, shall we? Yes, this is a zombie story. Yes, it’s also the story of how I died — is there any other type of zombie story, when you get right down to it? And yeah, I’m not too chuffed about the whole debacle.
Why not? Because it’s the story of how I died. I mean, come on. How can you expect someone to have fun with that sort of thing?
Summoner Wars Mega #4: Cloaks vs. Benders
Cloaks vs. Benders.
Today’s match was one that everyone knew would come eventually: the showdown between the mind-controlling Bender Empire and the nomadic nation of exiles they created, the Cloaks. As former countrymen face off in a duel of wits, it’s Itharia’s profoundest civil war yet! Only problem is that they’re double-dipping from the same bag of tricks, as both specialize in neutralizing their opponents’ abilities. So the question is: who neutralized better?
Somerset and I couldn’t have asked for a more interesting match. Or a longer, more grueling match. Emotions ran high as we undermined each other at every turn. Read on to discover which nation was swept away by the tides of change. Also the tides of mind-control and thuggery.
Summoner Wars Mega #3: Phoenix Elves vs. Sand Goblins
Phoenix Elves vs. Sand Goblins.
The outcome of today’s match should leave everyone happy, because regardless of whether the fiery Phoenix Elves or the hell-continent-dweller Sand Goblins win, a faction of evil jerks has lost — and in battle-torn Itharia, where every madman has a summoning stone nowadays, that can only be a good thing.
As always, Somerset and myself were provided with a surprisingly unique match. It lacked the early-game assassination of our first match and the stalemated battle lines of our second. Instead, it was a highly tense game in which both Summoners felt the sting of enemy blades, and both subtle trickery and brute force had their moment. Spoiler Alert: At the end of this one, our score stands at 2-1. Oh, that was obvious? You want to know which of us is now ahead? Sorry, you’ll have to read on to find out the winner.
Summoner Wars Mega #2: Vanguards vs. Mercenaries
Vanguards versus Mercenaries.
Today’s battle is something of a class war. The sprawling (and smelly) City of Heap has long stood in the shadow of the Citadel of the Fist, home to the Vanguards, but at long last Rallul’s Mercenary company, which often recruits out of Heap’s slums, has challenged young Sera Eldwyn to a battle for ultimate control! Or at least control for a while, since the Summoner Wars are functionally unending.
This match couldn’t have been more different from our last one if it tried. Rather than being full of trickery and win-stealing, this one was all about two forces slowly grinding each other into dust. And I’ll tell you now, it was a close one.
Summoner Wars Mega #1: Mountain Vargath vs. Jungle Elves
Mountain Vargath versus Jungle Elves.
Today the stout Mountain Vargath will face off against the mobile Jungle Elves. This matchup probably wouldn’t even occur if the lore of Summoner Wars were ironclad, since both factions are only fighting to defend their homeland. Ah well, maybe there’s a tract of mountainous jungle somewhere that everyone lays claim to. The Itharian Poland or something.
This match caught us both by surprise. It was surprisingly nonviolent, though it lasted fewer than 10 full rounds. Neither faction managed to get through their entire deck, and nobody was sure who would win until the very last dice roll.
Race to the Meuse
Much like the elusive okapi, good strategy games are hard to come by on the iPad. How many times do developers think we want to sit through bad Advance Wars clones anyway? So the release of Shenandoah Studio’s Battle of the Bulge has been a breath of fresh air in a stale warehouse. This week I played the three-day introductory scenario, Race to the Meuse. Did I take Bastogne? Did I reach the Meuse River itself? Find out below.
SPACE-BIFF! 