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Shorthorn

"We're totes gonna rustle some cattle, then rustle some grub," his expression tells you. "Then I'm gonna take this here feather and give ya a tickle," his wink says. Woah there.

When you get right down to it, Longhorn could be about pretty much anything. Hacking yottabytes of corporate secrets out of a protected server, for instance. Or gathering gems for your medieval patron, because apparently we love that crap. Instead, Longhorn woke up one morning and decided to be about stealing cows, swigging moonshine, and trying not to get a snake in yer boots.

It’s the very definition of pasted on, though I appreciate the effort to appeal to my Western sensibilities. Like most of the folks in my neighborhood I enjoy rustling cattle, have done so since I was old enough to balance atop a burro, so the setting would seem like a natural fit. Then I crack it open and discover it’s got just about nothing to do with a real cattle drive. More’s the shame.

Well, good news, because tacked-on setting or no, Longhorn is fine as cream gravy.

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