Category Archives: Board Game
Taking a Swig of Hemloch
Hemloch’s Horned Advisor advises you to play Hemloch, lest you get the horns.
The more astute among you have probably picked up on the fact that I prefer board games of the epic variety, and what little crevice I have in my heart for two-player card duelers has already been stubbornly occupied by Summoner Wars. And yet, there’s something about Hemloch from Small Box Games that has captured my imagination. Not only is their company delightfully and intentionally tiny (you can read about it over here), but John Clowdus has a way of filling even the slightest games with an immense range of compelling choices.
Imagine this: The end of an age of twilight is dawning over the city of Hemloch, and as the last member of an ancient bloodline you’ll need to manipulate, influence, cajole, bribe, and backstab to gain the allegiance of the city’s districts before the sun rises. And you’ll be doing it in about twenty to thirty minutes.
Empires of the Void: 3X Goodness
Yellow squadron uses a giant die as a distraction for their invasion of Tan Fu.
Very few things miff the staff here at Space-Biff! more than when folks treat genre labels as interchangeable—it leads to the same sort of discombobulation as staring at a Che Guevara sticker while seated in an Olive Garden restroom. Worse, it transforms the angelic stillness of the SB! living room office into a cacophony of complaining voices. “Spec Ops is not an RPG!” Dan was shouting the other day. “Small World is not Ameritrash!” Thurot blurted a few weeks ago. Even Lee can’t stop talking about how The Walking Dead is an entirely new (and “the boldest”) genre. And over the last couple days, Wee Aquinas won’t shut up about how “Empires of the Void isn’t a 4X game!”
This is fine, because Wee Aquinas usually comes out on the wrong side of genre arguments and this has been a big get for him. Also, because Red Raven Games never claimed Empires of the Void as a 4X game—just that it’s a good one. And on that count, they’re absolutely right.
Being Tzeentch: Chaos in the Old World
Chaos in the Old World. Box art.
Hypothetical time! What would happen if you sat your deity of choice (if you’re an atheist, plug a lightning-empowered Christopher Hitchens in there) at a table with a handful of opposing deities, placed the world in the middle, and fired a starter pistol into the air?
And that’s basically what Chaos in the Old World proposes, except its deities are probably meaner than yours—they worked hard to earn that “Ruinous Powers” nickname, after all. It’s a superb game that lets you be the worst of bad guys, and it oozes theme like a pus from a wound.
Ret-Talus: Dead King, Summoner, Bum Rusher
Ret-Talus, master of the Fallen Kingdom.
Many moons back I hollowed out a ventricle of my stony heart to contain my love for Summoner Wars, the masterpiece from Plaid Hat Games that I claim as my favorite board/card game ever. Sadly, I haven’t found the time (or brass) to write about it until now (excepting its inclusion in my Board Game Box Review, which does not actually count but masks my chagrin at least a little).
Now Summoner Wars is out on iOS, which means I’ve been playing far more games at once than I can keep track of. Which makes this the perfect time to jump on in and tell you all about why Summoner Wars is so incredible.
Engage the Flick Drives!
A spaceman ponders the mysteries of the wide universe.
There’s this game I’ve owned for a long time, Ascending Empires from Z-Man Games. It’s a great game, and I’ve known that since the day I bought it, but it only made it to the table twice. This summer we started having friends over for game nights a lot more often, and as a result, I’ve been playing it regularly—and it’s rocketed onto my Best Board Games Ever list. Why? Not only because it’s a good game (I already said it is), but because it makes me feel pathetically fantastically hilariously inept.
The Curious Incident of the Tyrrhenian Steamer
A steamer, carrying Count Dracula among its cargo, embarked from Genoa.
Well, everyone knows Count Dracula died at Borgo Pass. What Fury of Dracula presupposes is: Maybe he didn’t?
The riddle of the vampire’s reappearance was not the one plaguing our heroes tonight, however. Rather, they (Lord Godalming, Dr. Seward, Professor Van Helsing, and Mina Harker) were preoccupied with a mystery of an algebraic nature: If a steamship sets sail from Genoa, fixes the setting sun to starboard, and ends its voyage into the Tyrrhenian after but a short distance, where but Cagliari, Naples, and Rome could its passengers have disembarked?
Sentinel Comics #135: Hero… to Zero!
Absolute Zero is decimated by Baron Blade’s first attack.
LAST TIME (SC #134) (you should read this before continuing), Absolute Zero of the Freedom Five was joined by the solar-powered Ra and the mysterious Haka to find and destroy Baron Blade’s Terralunar Impulsion Beam. The good Baron had the decency to establish his base camp amidst the ruins of Atlantis, off the coast of Madagascar, which made for pretty easy pickings for our unlikely squad of heroes. Unfortunately, the moment the Beam was deactivated (and the world saved, incidentally), Baron Blade himself showed up with one heck of a grudge. Already weakened by their attack on the Baron’s camp, our heroes sure are in dire straits, in…
Sentinel Comics #135: Hero… to Zero!
Sentinel Comics #134: The Blade of Atlantis
The Sentinels continue their fight against the enemies of the Multiverse!
LAST TIME (SC #133) Legacy had led the Freedom Five to finally uncover Baron Blade’s plot to use lost Atlantean technology to power his Terralunar Impulsion Beam. Unfortunately, this left four of the Freedom Five halfway around the world and unable to make it to Atlantis before the dastardly beam’s activation (loyal readers will recall that Tachyon’s super-speed had been temporarily lost along with her memories back in SC #124). With Visionary and the Inhuman Tempest lost in space and time thanks to Grand Warlord Voss (SC #130), and with Fanatic trapped in an alternate reality of Omnitron’s creation (SC #125), the task has fallen to Absolute Zero to lead a team of unlikely allies to save the world in…
Sentinel Comics #134: The Blade of Atlantis!
The Board Game Box Review
The board game boxes under review on our first installment of The Board Game Box Review!
Okay, I’m taking Space-Biff! across the threshold into true nerd territory. This is nerdier than a sixteen-hour game of Runewars, a GLaDOS pumpkin, or dressing up as characters from RAGE… alright, less nerdy than that last one.
I’m writing this because if there’s one thing I can’t stand (and trust me, there’s at least one thing I can’t stand), it’s poorly-designed board game boxes. That’s right: When the box is too big, too small, won’t play Tetris with other games, or falls apart after a year, it really ticks me off something mighty. And I’m sure there’s at least one other person out there who feels the same way. Cue The Board Game Box Review.
Runewars Mega: The Index
Red Scorpion raises the Lost City, beginning the War for the Dragon Throne.
It is with tremendous relief that I compile the index of everything I’ve written—or will write, I hope—about Runewars. Our game of Runewars took about 15 hours to complete—much longer than average—and over four times as long to write up. So without further ado (though with one further “read more” click), I present the index:
SPACE-BIFF! 