Category Archives: Uncategorized

The GenConmen, 2017: Secrets

Yeah, that's apparently my soulmate.

The third day of Gen Con was pretty much just full of secrets. I’d tell you about them, but, well, that sort of undermines the whole “secret” aspect. Further worsening matters, anything provided by publishers for review was probably something I didn’t actually play at the convention — that’s for later, you know — which makes this the least-worthwhile Gen Con report of all time.

So, hey, enjoy the few things I can write about!

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Magnates, How Do They Work?

When Somerset is crushing everyone so badly that their final scores cannot even sum together to equal hers, feel free to add the "effing" to the front of that title.

There’s nothing quite so good that’s quite as bad for you as fast food. Food Chain Magnate gets this. Want to sell crummy burgers at $9 a pop, plus some watery lemonade for $15 a glass? Just call them deluxe and you’re set. Slap up a billboard, talk about how cheesy your pizza is on the radio, and they will come. Heaven help them, they will come. Tomorrow, they’ll be slobbering for more.

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Elsewhere: Infiltration

Sleep well, Borg Queen, for tomorrow's a big day.

I reviewed the underrated Infiltration here on Space-Biff! a while back, celebrating the game’s neon-washed setting, tense press-your-luck gameplay, and low barrier of entry. Then I apparently forgot all about it, because I reviewed it again this week over at the Review Corner.

It doesn’t matter which of those links you clink, just so long as you click one of them, because Infiltration is the second-best game set in the Android universe. Such a pity nobody ever remembers it exists.

Space-Biff! vs. Three Years

This is the carpet that adorns Wee Aquinas's pad. He insists it feels wonderful on bare feet and is definitely not choked with pubes.

If what I’m reading in these childhood development manuals holds true, then this is the year that Space-Biff! becomes truly annoying. Mostly by throwing tantrums in public and insisting it can put on its own pajamas, it can it can it can! *stomp stomp stomp* … (fails miserably at putting on its own pajamas).

Yay?

Anyway, it’s fun looking back. But even more fun looking forwards! Thanks everyone who actually reads this nonsense, and here’s to three years!

How Space-Biff! Is Changing in 2014

Wee Aquinas worries he'll be replaced. Don't worry, Wee Aquinas, we still love you.

It’s been a bit longer than usual since I wrote anything here at Space-Biff!, and judging by the bags of mail piling up both in my inbox and just inside my front door, it’s been as hard on you as it has been on me.

Never fear! Space-Biff! will be resuming its regular programming shortly, and after the jump, we’ll give you a glimpse of what we’ve got planned.

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Space-Biff! and the Terrible Twos

This fabric looks more cozy than our usual pink stuff. I bet that crap is scratchy.

Today is possibly the most important day of the year — because it’s the second birthday of your absolutely favorite directionless blog about mostly boardgames but also sometimes other stuff! Wish me luck, because I hear two years is when they start getting extra cranky.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who’s made this another fabulous year. You’re the best. I’d tell you we have some awesome stuff coming up, but I really don’t have anything special planned, so… thanks for hanging around, and stay tuned!

A Survivor/Killer is Born

Hm, that's not a tomb. Not even close, Lara.

Lara Croft spies the greatest mystery of all…

A Survivor is Born.

At least that’s what Tomb Raider informs me, right before the credits roll. (Spoiler? Well then, here’s fair warning: mild spoilers throughout this writeup). And that — the concept of a survivor being forged from raw not-survivor material — is what I want to talk about. I must caution you though, I’m finding it difficult to talk about Tomb Raider. More on that below.

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The Space-Biff! Birthday Contest Results!

I downloaded the font myself. It's called Enterprise.

Staggering talent.

In our Space-Biff! birthday contest, we saw some pretty good suggestions about what people would give Space-Biff! for its first birthday, and congrats to our five winners! They’ll be receiving a shiny new key for Metro 2033 in their inboxes soon.

This means it’s time for the second phase of our contest. This will determine who gets a copy of the board game Infiltration from Fantasy Flight Games! Read on to see our five winning items, and vote for whichever strikes you as the most creative answer!

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Celebrate Space-Biff! with a Contest!

I insisted on this shot to show off the gloves that were given to me personally by Ryan Gosling, though the Antiques Roadshow has confirmed that they're not the actual gloves worn in Drive, that cheapskate.

Happy first birthday, Space-Biff! Who’s brought a present?

Well, here we are, one year on. Our baby sure has grown up—almost a hundred articles, about fifteen comments, and as of last week, six followers! Thanks so much to those of you without whom it couldn’t have happened. You know who you are. Also, some of you did absolutely nothing to help, and you know who you are as well. Meanies.

All is forgiven, because we’re here to celebrate Space-Biff! surviving for one year! The next challenge is to make it to two. So to inaugurate the new year, let’s have a little contest! Strap in, because this is going to be convoluted.

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A Space-Biff! Secret Annoucement!

Only took 48 minutes too!

I made this image. Hoo yeah baby.

Alright people, rub your hands together and shake the sleepy out of your buttocks, because Space-Biff! has an announcement. “What kind of announcement?” I can hear you asking, even though you’re in Hungary and I’m locked tight in the basement of the SB! Commune. Well, it’s the kind of announcement that you’ll be thinking about for days; that will challenge your preconceptions of what “announcement” can mean; that will replace Benjamin Disraeli as the eighteenth-coolest thing in history. And it makes us kind of a tease.

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