Category Archives: Indie
Conquest of Elysium 3 is…
A picture of Conquest of Elysium 3. Look at all the scary data. What does it mean? Does anyone know?
I’ve been playing and talking a lot about Conquest of Elysium 3 from Illwinter Game Design, the two-man band responsible for Dominions 3. My review? It’s great: simple to learn, plenty of depth, and lots of options for customization so you can play the game you’re in the mood for.
However, it hasn’t been widely reviewed, and lots of folks seem confused about what it is—one review so completely that I couldn’t help but poke some fun at it. I understand this response—its visual style requires some acclimatizing, and it looks like it could be one of those impenetrable stats-based games that you once bought as a kid because you heard you could do anything but then it turned out you couldn’t even figure out how to build a cavalry regiment.
Have no fear! CoE3 is not one of those games. But rather than define what it isn’t, I’ve made a handy list of four things that sum up what Conquest of Elysium 3 is all about. If that doesn’t interest you, you can make like an IGN reader and skip to the end for the final score.
Can’t Get Enough Human Sacrifices
The demonologist's monthly report on incoming sacrifices.
I’ve recently been playing a lot of Conquest of Elysium 3, the new game from Illwinter Game Design, who you might recognize as the creators of Dominions 3. My review is here, and last time I played as a halfling Burgmeister. Today I’m playing as the Demonologist, a mage willing to conspire with devils in order to gain atrocious power.
It isn’t easy being a Demonologist, even if you have learned the dark arts of sacrificing your fellow man to appease the dark gods. No matter how powerful you become, there will always be a demon lord unwilling to join forces once you’ve summoned him into Elysium. And when that happens, not only does the ungrateful spawn refuse to join you, but you’ve got to fight it, further weakening your hellish army.
Oh well. Next time you’ll have to sate the demon’s lusts with a few extra human sacrifices.
Can’t Get Enough Hoburg Weed
The beginnings of a very profitable Hoburg Weed growing enterprise. The little towns with green fields are hoburg villages. They grow, well, you can guess.
I’ve recently been playing a lot of Conquest of Elysium 3, the new game from Illwinter Game Design, who you might recognize as the creators of Dominions 3. Today I’m playing as the Burgmeister, a leader among halfmen.
It isn’t easy being a halfman, even if you have managed to join up with the Hoburgs. You have to put up with the worst sort of ridicule, and those short legs aren’t taking you anywhere fast. At best you have 4 hitpoints—and chances are you’ve got fewer. Even most human archers have 7, and beefcakes can work up to more than double that.
Yessir, life as a Hoburg sure would stink if it weren’t for fine Hoburg Weed.
Long Walks on the Beach: Dear Esther
One of the many poignant images from Dear Esther.
I’m having a hard time pinning down Dear Esther. After reading a few other opinion pieces, reviews, and theories, I think the feeling is mutual. Which is fine, since I suspect that’s exactly what creator Dan Pinchbeck was going for.
So I’ll put it this way: what does a fatal car crash, a syphilitic goatherd, a blinking radio aerial, a navy of paper boats, and a stunning cave create when combined? Answer: I have no idea. But it’s interesting all the same.
La Piña de La Muerte: Pineapple Smash Crew
The opening screen of Pineapple Smash Crew, which leaves little doubt about the type of pineapples being smashed.
The world’s fastest man can run about 12 meters per second. The world’s slowest explosion travels about 1800. What can we learn from this? That we can do a way better job of motivating Olympic runners.
Pineapple Smash Crew from Rich Make Game (Rich Edwards making games) is all about Outrunning the Fireball. Also pineapples. You know, to cause the fireballs.
I’m sure there isn’t a person on earth who wouldn’t get a buzz from escaping an explosion. But in a game where you’ll be doing exactly that at least a couple times every minute, can the thrill last?
Don’t Trip: Running with Rifles
Many green men running. Running with rifles. (You may need to click for bigger. They're small men).
I have two secret talents. One of them is that I can fall asleep anywhere and anywhen. The other is that I’m pretty good at following through on my New Year’s Resolutions. I made three this year. Two of them are dull—you know, weight loss dull. But the exciting one is that I’ve determined that I’m going to update Space-Biff! with much more regularity. I’ve already got a bunch of great stuff planned for this and next month, and all I have to do is beat L.A. Noire, remember what happened twenty turns ago in the RPS Dominions 3 game, and contract another disease in Skyrim. Today was MLK Day, so I had all day free to work on these things.
Instead I spent all day playing Running with Rifles by Modulaatio Games. Day wasted? I think not.
The Most Frightening Game of the Year
Tabajaras says goodbye to his grandparents for the last time. Is this the most frightening part of the year? Tragically, no.
Last night was Halloween. This would have been posted then, but I sat down with a group of friends to play Mansions of Madness instead. So here’s Space-Biff’s first ever (belated) Halloween special.
I’d like to talk a bit about the game that’s frightened me the most this year. You may have already guessed what it is from the image above. If you have, you’re probably wondering how anyone could consider this game frightening. If you haven’t, a hint: it isn’t called “Nuevos Aires, 1960.” It’s a game that at its most profound level is about the detachment and numbness that follows real violence, about confronting impossible atrocities, and about a nation’s disconnect between the suffering of its people and the isolation — and ambitions — of its leaders. It’s also a puzzle game. About zombies. And smashing them to their constituent atoms.
A Random Look at Vlambeer
Vlambeer, a small (two people!) Dutch game studio, released their latest game earlier today. Serious Sam: The Random Encounter is the most recent in Croteam’s series of indie versions of their Serious Sam franchise, and can be had for only five dollars from Steam. Their games have a strong history of being innovative changeups of familiar genres, and The Random Encounter is no exception. Thoughts on this, and their past games, below.
SPACE-BIFF! 