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Leave It in the Pattern Buffer
Montgomery Scott, chief engineer of the USS Enterprise, was known to quadruple his estimates for emergency repairs. This excess was eventually termed “buffer time,” and allowed Scott to maintain his reputation as a miracle worker. Later, after becoming stranded on the surface of a Dyson Sphere, he kept himself in suspended animation for seventy-five years via his ship’s pattern buffer.
The moral of this story is that Star Trek contains one too many uses of the word “buffer.”
Despite growing up on The Next Generation and loving “Lower Decks,” the episode about the Enterprise‘s lower-ranking officers who lived in fear of Commander Riker rather than regarding him as a lovable goofball who never learned how to sit in a chair like a normal person, I haven’t watched even one minute of the animated series by the same name. It isn’t anything personal. I just don’t watch much TV these days. After playing Star Trek: Lower Decks: Buffer Time: The Card Game, that doesn’t seem likely to change anytime soon.
Wrex. Shepard.
What is there even to say about Mass Effect? It’s old. The final installment came out twelve years ago. Not counting Andromeda. Which we don’t around these parts.
But, sure, I’m a sucker for Commander Shepard, the Normandy, the whole goofball crew. I have a pile of opinions nobody cares to hear, fond memories of blasting through human supremacists and robot supremacists alike, even some suppressed affection for the Mako, that tumble car I rolled sideways down every mountain in the Armstrong Nebula.
Now Mass Effect is back as a board game. Why now, you ask, a dozen years after all the cosplayers were airbrushing themselves blue? Pffft, who cares. Designed by Eric Lang and Calvin Wong Tze Loon, Mass Effect: The Board Game — Priority: Hagalaz is one heck of a mouthful that I intend to never repeat. It’s effectively a generous side quest set during the third game’s galaxy-spanning war against the Reapers. And, some hiccups aside, it’s a nostalgic treat to see the gang back together for one more bash.
SPACE-BIFF! 